It’s common to fantasize about living in a perfect world with perfect people and perfect relationships. The hard truth is – we’re not perfect. And neither are our partners.

The term Wabi Sabi is a concept derived from Zen Buddhist teachings that means finding beauty and perfection in the imperfections. For instance, if you had a large vase with a long crooked crack down the middle of it, a Japanese art museum would put the vase on a pedestal and shine a light in the crack OR they might fill the crack with 24-karat gold! Sadly, our culture has conditioned us to expect perfection from our treasures, ourselves and others, leading us into a perpetual state of frustration and dissatisfaction. The human mind tends to be a fault-finding machine, focusing with laser- like precision on what’s wrong versus what’s right. Read the rest of this entry »

We all remember going through school and hearing how main subject categories were noted as “the 3 R’s:” Reading, Writing and Arithmetic. And a common learning tool for these subjects in school was use of the good ole’ flash-card to increase memorization. There is a 4th “R” you may want to consider adding to the list of Reading, Writing and Arithmetic…that can also be improved through the use of flash-cards: “Relationships.” In the book, “Talk to Me Like I’m Someone You Love: Relationship Repair in a Flash”, Dr. Nancy Dreyfus, Psy.D., explains how Relationship Flash-Card Repair can help solve squabbles between couples. Read the rest of this entry »

With few exceptions, all of us want to feel good about who we are, take pride in our work, and gain the approval of those who matter most to us. Life is sweeter when our worth and value are validated. But what makes a person love himself above anything or anyone else? What makes self-absorption so important that they become blind to their deleterious effects on other people, and uncompromising, inflexible and even manipulative and abusive? Read the rest of this entry »