Archives For January 2011


What’s the most dangerous myth out there?

Myth #1: Conflict Means Trouble
It’s impossible to live together with our various idiosyncrasies and not get annoyed with each other! As a matter of fact, the avoidance of conflict is one of the top causes of divorce. Every couple has approximately ten irreconcilable differences; and yet what’s labeled as the cause of divorce at the top of most divorce papers? Irreconcilable differences.

Correction: CONFLICT LEADS TO CLOSENESS
Conflict leads to closeness when it’s done well. In other words, there is a refusal to name-call, scream, verbally attack, become defensiveness, or withdraw from the conversation. When couples express anger in a way that is direct, honest, and without the belittling, there is great satisfaction once the conclusion has been reached. I encourage couples to lean into the conflict; not back away in damaging silence. It doesn’t’ mean that a break isn’t good; where one of you calls it and you both agree to cease and return in an hour so tempers can calm. Bottom-line, we must simply learn how to fight well! Continue Reading…

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