Archives For Communication



One of the biggest issues in a marriage is money. While you might think the root of the problem is the dollar signs, it goes deeper than that.
Take the money personality quiz at www.themoneycouple.com.

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Teenagers can sometimes be hard to understand, but there are some things that teens wish they could ask their parents.

Do You Like Me?
In the independent film, “Lady Bird,” mom and daughter are out shopping for a prom dress. My favorite scene is when the daughter emerges from the dressing room in a beautiful pink prom dress, admires herself in the mirror and says, “I love it!”
If I were to watch this scene play- out between clients of mine, if I were on this shopping trip as the family director, I would yell, “that’s a wrap!” After the daughter says “I love it”….good enough! Don’t fight about fabrics! If it covers enough, that’s enough!
If daughter loves it, mom, then it’s YES TO THE DRESS!
Teens are SO sharp and sensitive to your approval or lack thereof. Watch your nonverbal communication. Often what happens is a child picks out an outfit and a parent has some nonverbal communication: Head tilt, lip pucker….teens get it! You don’t approve of their outfit…but more painfully they read it as you don’t approve of them.
Continue Reading…

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This isn’t advice you hear everyday: strengthen your marriage by picking up your smartphone.

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Every family has their bedtime routine. Jammies, brush teeth, bedtime story, or whatever works in your house.

Your children’s bedtime isn’t just the transition from daytime to nighttime. It’s a sacred window that’s perfect for deepening your connection.
Plus, when you and your kiddos know what to expect each night you will both be able to fall asleep more easily and avoid the roller coaster of sleep-related drama.
Ben and I have a GREAT respect for parents and their kiddos’ bedtime routines. At our recent sleepover with our nieces and nephew, 7, 5 and 3-year old twins, we saw first-hand just how tricky it can be. Before bed, do you wear them out and have them jump and dance all over the room? Or do you dim the lights and softened the music so they start to relax? Different things work for different children, it seems. My goal was to just make sure that everyone was alive and unharmed until their parents’ arrival. Nothing impressive. (Maybe the pictures will work during this intro? There’s a video clip, too, if we could find it together.) Continue Reading…

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The whole family is together on Thanksgiving, so creating deeper connections is an important part of the day.

Thanksgiving dinner constitutes a lot of different scenarios: small groups, large group, in-home, at a restaurant, in-laws, out-laws, no laws. The questions posed to each other can change according to the dynamics of the people around the table.

What do we hope to gain from asking and answering certain questions of each other? Closeness.

We often say there’s strength in numbers; I believe there’s strength in knowledge. Around the table this Thanksgiving decide ahead of time what outcome you’d like to achieve as you pass questions randomly around to your guests or even write one unique question for each guest’s individual name card.

How Well Do Others See Me? (especially my child)

Let’s start with our children. Earlier this year there was a popular post on Facebook encouraging a parent to sit down with their child and ask them 14 specific questions, and then repost the answers along with the child’s name and age.

So instead of the parent asking questions to the child about that child, the parent asks questions to the child about that parent.

The answers were tender and endearing. Here are some of the questions

  • What is something I always say to you?
  • What makes me happy?
  • What makes me sad?
  • How do I make you laugh?
  • What is your favorite thing about our relationship?
  • What am I really good at?
  • What is something I’m NOT good at?
  • What do you enjoy doing with me?

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