Finances are a common trigger for argument in any marriage.

Research: Spenders Versus Tightwads

This came from BYU’s Flourishing Families Project which provides a longitudinal, multi-informant, multi-method look at inner-family dynamics.

My favorite headline that emerged from this study:

“Husbands! Stop Thinking your Wife is Bad with Money!”

The study found that for husbands, having a wife who they PERCEIVED as a spender was the highest contributor to financial conflict. For wives, having a husband who PERCEIVED THEM as a spender was the highest contributor for financial conflict. This was seen in couples who had high incomes and low incomes as well as in couples who traditionally spend a great deal and those couples who don’t. The views were completely relative to perception, not reality. Even if and when circumstances change, perceptions often don’t.

Money is loaded with power and meaning that can make can discussions heated and hurtful. Arguments about money aren’t about money. They are about our dreams, our fears, and our inadequacies. Continue Reading…