How to be Less Judgmental

May 11, 2012 — Leave a comment

We are all just trying to do our best managing the day to day, so why do we judge each other?

1. “Be the change you want to see in the world.”Gandhi

I don’t always know the changes I need to make about me until I start pointing the critical finger at youââ?¬Â¦then the change I need to make becomes obvious!

Make a practice to see the reverse; in other words, whatever comes out of my judgmental mouth about you, I often turn it around and see where I am just like” you.” Actually, it’s not even that altruisticââ?¬Â¦whatever judgment I have about you, always belongs to me! I was in AZ visiting my father and my sister who also lives there asked me to feed their guinea pig for a few days while they were out of town. I remember going in to feed this very fat guinea pig, looking around inside my sister’s laundry room thinking, “Man, I know Mindy’s busy but she should really carve out a day or two and clean this mess up.” Stuff was piled high across the counter tops. The cupboards were full ~ it was the catch-all room for their fast-paced family. It was a disaster!

About 2 weeks later, I’m getting ready to do some laundry in my own home and I go to open the doors to my small laundry room, and everything that I had piled high on my laundry room shelves came cascading down like a water fallââ?¬Â¦the shelf had just given in because I had so much junk on it, like things that really needed to be thrown out or placed in another storage roomââ?¬Â¦.there it was! I saw my sisters’ laundry room right in my own home!

A great message: Don’t judge me, help me! If we see that someone is struggling, whether with an unruly child or heavy groceries, let’s not stand back with a “tisk, tisk,” let’s step up and offer ourselves. “What can I do to help?” “I’m hereââ?¬Â¦lean on me.”

1. “The majority of problems cannot be solved; they need to be outgrown.”

Imagine that someone is always watching youââ?¬Â¦and if you’re a parent, there is always someone watching you!

Children live what they see.

Nothing in life is wasted; everything is for our development: to rise up and become the kind of man or woman we are most proud of�.and that always takes living a higher law. How I feel about me is in direct proportion to how I treat you.

2. “Want more for another than you want for yourself.”Dr. Liz

One of my favorite stories is of a woman living high in the Himalayans who was of little means. In sitting by the side of the river one day, she reached into the water and pulled out this marvelous, rare stoneââ?¬Â¦.it was exquisite and worth great value. She placed it in her satchel by a little bread that she had taken from home and went about her day. As she walked into the village, a man traveling from another area stopped by to ask for directions and also inquired if she had any food to spare because he was hungry and poor. When she reached into her satchel to pull out the bread, this man caught a glimpse of the rare gem. He knew that acquiring such a stone would be the end of his grief and povertyââ?¬Â¦so he very boldly asks, “May I have that?” And this woman says, “Yes!” The man walks awayââ?¬Â¦..but the very next day he comes back to find this woman. And he reaches out for her hand to return the stone and he says to her, “I am bringing this back in hopes that you will share something even more powerful with me: what is it in YOU that allowed you to give that to meââ?¬Â¦.can you teach me how to do that?”

Want more for another than you want for yourself.

Let’s say we have a mother-in-law we struggle with. Mother’s Day is coming up and so will that blessed get-together over Sunday dinner. What is it that you want to feel that day? Peace? Love? Then, want feelings of peace and love MORE for your mother-in-law than you want for yourself.

If you want to find your self-worth, focus on the worth of another. There is no other way to TRUE PEACE.

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Dr. Liz Hale

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